Smiles and the 4th grade!

A self photo of our beautiful daughter

Ruby likes to build things like Daddy!

Pampering a hurt foot

Hurt foot...what hurt foot?

Orange "peaces"

So many I can't believes these past two weeks.

I can't believe we've been a family for 2 months. It makes us so happy inside :)

I can't believe Ruby is going into the 4th grade. She will be a year behind other kids her age, but that is OK. She is still a little girl at times and the 4th grade just seems so old to me. I know she'll catch up and do well. We were thinking 3rd grade at first, but after our assessment w/Children's Intl. Hospital Adoption Center, we decided that 4th grade will be more appropriate for her since she is learning English very quickly and has many "older" child like skills. Ruby is anxious to start school this upcoming Tuesday.

I can't believe her honeymoon is finally over. We've seen a different (and a little more mature) Ruby. She is still doing amazingly well, but does show an attitude every now and then. She is learning more and more English every day. She is so smart and we use the dictionary a little less than the first 8 weeks. As mentioned before, she is very expressive. Now that she can express her fashion a little more here in the states, she has bought a pink wig (just for play), wears the colors brown and dark blue now (wouldn't touch them before because they were 'boy' colors) and even bought play tattoos. The tattoos were a huge step because she was scared of Mike at first because of all of his tattoos. She's catching on that being different is acceptable here in America.

I can't believe that Ruby is eating cheese now (still doesn't like hot cheese yet).

I can't believe that she gives us hugs and kisses now. We went to a friend's BD party last night. Mike wasn't able to come. This made Ruby sad. When we got home she ran into Daddy's arms.

I can't believe I'm leaving Boys & Girls Club of South Park :( This was a difficult choice, but I'm looking forward to a more 40 hour work week, not traveling for work, less stress and being here for my family. Ruby is sad too (she likes the Club), but is VERY happy because she understands that means I'll have more time to spend with her and Daddy.

I can't believe that we've only had to use an interpreter three times since we've been home. I think we'll use one on a weekly basis once school starts at first, just to keep communication open.

I can't believe how busy it is to have one child. I give props to those of you who have more than one :)

Olympics

The Olympics have been a favorite in our house hold the past couple of days. Ruby loves to see China compete and is excited when either the USA or China wins a competition. She's also had fun keeping up on how many medals each country has won. We are so glad that she is home and able to watch this. What perfect timing. Her favorite Olympic mascot is Jingjing the Panda. Mine is Bebe ...although Nini is very cute too. I love how the elements are tied into the Mascots - very fung shui! Ruby also gave us a wonderful performance of her version of the floor gymnastics. Very cute! Ruby has also shown an interest in our politics when she saw our President during an interview. She had a few very good questions on our government relations with China.

Tips for families adopting older children

Ruby and her fine catch of trout.

Daddy and Ruby hauling wood for winter.

Tips for families adopting older children.

I've come up with some tips for families adopting older children...especially since many families are making the "switch" to this age group. These suggestions have worked for us...of course I can not say that they will work for every family.

1. Read this book before you adopt and bring it along while you travel to China. It was so nice to refer back to this book when we needed to. This has been our most valuable book so far. There are many others that we read, but liked the simplicity that this one offered: Attaching in Adoption by Deborah D. Gray.

2. Make sure you have family time in China, even if it is swimming, taking walks, eating ice cream, playing cards or watching TV together. Don't be afraid to say "no" to missing out on the tourist trips. It is more important to start the bonding process. Your guide will understand.

3. Buy English learning DVD/CD's while in China. They are so much cheaper there and your child will appreciate it much more than the US ones offered. Also, buy movies in Chinese. Some won't play on the DVD player, even though it says, but you can play it on your computer. We bought several including a new US release movie "BEE" for under $4! Ruby also LOVES her traditional Chinese music CD's. She listens to them all the time and is of great comfort - music might be really good for kids under the age of 5 too!

4. Once you come home, don't have guests over or travel much. It is so nice and comforting for Ruby to know that our home is a safe fun place where she can relax and be herself. While we are home, we try to spend a lot of time together because it is a family place. We've been home one month and still haven't had people over. Although my Dad was here for a few hours the day after we came home.

5. We started Ruby on easy chores after day 3 or 4 at home. We use a chore chart with plastic tags and photos of each chore. It has given her responsibility in an easy way. We don't use the award system because these items are expected of her to do to help out with the family. She has responded very well to this and every day she wakes up she looks at her tags so she knows what is expected of her. I printed out photos of items that we do as chores that were not included in the kit. I bought ours for under $10 through Collections Etc or www.lakeside.com I can't seem to find it on either site now...so I'm not sure if they sell them anymore, but would be easy to make a homemade version.

6. We also keep a monthly calendar with photos, symbols and words that Ruby knows. She likes to be involved and updated on any changes. We go over each day together the night before.

7. We started to do 30 to 60 minutes a day of language workbook activities after week 1. Most of the workbooks were bought through Wal-mart. We started off with Pre-K and are now up to 1st grade. She flew through the pre-K/K and needs my help with 1st on maybe 50%. No matter, I always sit next to her and watch so she knows that I'm here for support. After she completes each book, we post her finished certificate on the fridge.

8. We posted a map in the office that has pins located where all of her adoptive relatives live. We are in the process of connecting each pin with a string to a photo of the relatives. Our family lives so far away that this gives her a better idea of how many relatives she has and who loves her.

9. We've also explained all the holidays coming up and that we are going to see relatives for Christmas. I know it seems far away, but it is important to us that she knows we travel far sometimes and that seeing family is a holiday tradition.

10. Ruby and I always pack her lunch together for the next day for Boys & Girls Club (my place of employment). She loves food and likes to be a part of the food choices. Luckily she likes healthy food, so we haven't had any power struggles with junk food yet.

11. Even though we are still working through the bonding process, we've found positive bonding activities like fishing, playing card games and Sorry, nail painting (even with Daddy!), baking/cooking together, taking photos of each other, looking through photos of when Mike and I where children and our wedding photos, looking at bugs and birds outside, reading books together at night (very simple books) and doing hair. High fives worked well during the first few weeks when she wasn't into hugging. Now she hugs all the time.

12. We eat together at least twice a day (difficult on working days, but we manage) and we always clear off the table as a family and clean the kitchen as a family. This is good for Ruby to see that Daddy can take on a motherly role too - which isn't common in China. She's even see Daddy cook and I think she was impressed!

13. We've also found it helpful for Ruby to play on www.funbrain.com There are great simple educational games for all grade levels.

14. We've had toys available for Ruby to play with that are for much younger children. This has been helpful and she's actually played with all of them. She even has a doll that she named after her Chinese name and sometimes strolls this doll in a doll stroller our friend gave us. Wang Mingnu has offered some good role-playing opportunities for Ruby. Sometimes adoptive children missed out on playing with these items and it's good to relive or regress through these stages if needed.

15. We always have one home movie family night a week and we pick out the movie as a family. Ruby is into fantasy. She loved the Spiderwick movie that just came out on DVD. Not recommended for children much younger than 9.

Hope this helps. I'll post some more tips as time goes on.

For the person trying to get a hold of me. My e-mail can be reached if you click on the profile section on this blog (right hand side). We are members on the BCWI yahoo group as well.